It’s been a long time coming! Some of you might remember I mentioned a month or two back for some questions for this Q&A I was planning, but then life got in the way and I prioritised other blog posts first but it’s finally here! In this being my first Q&A, I decided to focus around mental health questions and just random questions you lovelies have asked me so you can get to know me a bit better.
Q. What are your best ‘coping strategies’ when you’re struggling?
A. I have a few coping strategies that I return to every time things go ‘tits-up’ in my life. If it’s in the moment (such as I’m having a panic attack and need to calm down), then I’ll focus on my breathing and ‘grounding’. With my breathing, I try and get it as back to normal as I can, aiming for 3-4 seconds in, hold for 2 seconds and then 5 seconds out to help myself catch my breath. I go into more detail about breathing techniques in my ‘Tips for an Anxious Flyer’ post, but these techniques could be really useful to help calm you down. Grounding for me is just being aware of what the situation is and why I’m feeling anxious. I’ll trying think as logically as I can and try to predict what the worst thing to happen would be in the situation. For example, if I have a panic attack on the train, for me the worst thing that could happen is that I’m sick (because of my emetiphobia) and from there I try and figure out the likelihood of this happening (which is usually very small).
For more long-term hard times I try and surround myself with as many positive things and people as I can. My Dad, Sister, Boyfriend and amazing friends all help me so much and have helped me ever since I talked to them about my problems. If you’re struggling through this by yourself at the moment, the one bit of advice I would give you is to talk to someone you whole-heartedly trust, someone you know won’t judge you (if you don’t have someone like this, my inbox and DM’s are always open x). Also if you feel like you need professional help, I would suggest going to the doctors. I know it’s super scary but at the end of the day, they’re there to help you and a step in the right direction is always the most important.
Q. If you could pick any celebrity to play you in a movie, who would you choose?
A. Kate Winslet hands down, but (no offence to her, she absolutely gorgeous as she is) a younger version, as obviously I’m not her age. People always used to say that my Mumma looked a lot like her, and seeing as I look a whole lot like my Mum, I figure Winslet’s probably a pretty good shout. She also has a similar half-smile face to me and as far as I can tell, the same down-to-earth outlook on life which I think makes her a great fit.
Q. If you could play one of the Friends characters, who would you choose?
A. I sat here pondering for a while and I genuinely think it’s hard because all of the actors and actresses have fun things to do when they’re playing their characters- Matt (Joey) gets to be a joker, Jennifer (Rachel) gets to wear the BEST clothes and Lisa (Phoebe) gets to act super wacky. Personally though I think I’d like to play Monica. She gets to be sassy (Her Sassy Self!), both with her job and within her friendship group and to always speaks her mind and stands up for what she thinks is right- something which I encourage myself and others to do as everybody’s opinions and feelings matter. In Series 1 and 2 she wore super cute clothes and we also have things in common- she was ‘fat’ in high school (I also used to be a lottt bigger than I am now) and she freaks out with her OCD- I’ve also had OCD for many years. But, of course and potentially most importantly, she gets to (spoiler alert) marry Chandler- I mean, who wouldn’t want to marry that emotionally challenged sarcastic cutie?
Q. If you could give one piece of advice from your own experiences at hard times to others, what would it be?
A. My most important piece of advice would be to look after yourself first. Obviously it’s not okay to be selfish, but I mean more mentally and physically when you’re feeling the strain of something in particular or just everyday life. I look after myself by trying to keep myself as calm and positive as possible in order to reduce my anxiety/depression. One way I do this is watching some TV/Netflix (Friends, Grey’s Anatomy, Queer Eye, Jane the Virgin and New Girl are some of my favourite not-too-heavy programmes to watch) while being wrapped up in a blanket, or something equally as cosy, on the sofa (with some chocolate if I fancy). I also make sure I keep away from things that are going to make me extremely anxious. Pushing yourself a little bit and using exposure therapy can really help improve your anxiety around certain triggers, but I stay away from things that really upset me, whether that’s people being mean to me online or things that are heavily revolved around cancer. I just make sure to try and put my mental health first sometimes, even though I find it really hard because I want to help EVERYONE, but following advice I’m finally listening to from Dad, I can’t help everybody and sometimes I need to look after me.
Q. If you could be two animals mixed together what would you be?
A. This is a tricky one. My sister and I spent ages trying to figure this one out and we decided on a cat and a peacock- a Peacat! I chose a cat because of the results of my Pottermore patronus quiz (I’m a Harry Potter nerd, I know, I know)- apparently due to my instinct, a cat fits my personality best and I guess in some ways it does. I like sleeping, cuddles but also being independent which all (mostly- my cat is an exception because he’s grumpy guts) cats love. Will back in the day said I’d be a peacock when we were all saying which animal each other would be in our group on the bus on the way home (sounds a bit weird looking back haha). He said it’s because I’m sassy and if you don’t know me, you could see me as quite shy and tame but when you get to know me, you realise that I’m loving and sassy. I really loved this compliment and even though we didn’t see each other in that way then, it still makes me smile when I think about it. So, for me I’d be a Peacat!
Q. What are your top 5 high street shops?
A. Tiger (AMAZING for homeware and stationary), H&M, Forever 21, Primark and Topshop. As you can tell, I love to go for mainly cheap, but fashionable clothes stores that fulfil my need for unique items I like to incorporate into my style to make it individual to me. Even though Topshop can be on the pricier side, I love the unique styles and pieces they create that just has me making wishlists as long as my arm!
|Thanks for blocking the shot you goon x|
Q. How do you talk to people about how you are feeling? More specifically to people who could actually help, not just friends?
A. This was something one of my friends asked me a while back for the Q&A, but also for themselves. I think the best way about getting professional help is first realising you need it which can be so super hard. I went through three courses of CBT before I finally admitted to myself that grief counselling was what I really needed so I know how hard it can be. Then I think you should tell someone you completely trust, and perhaps get them to come to the doctors with you so you can openly talk about how you’re feeling to a professional. Again, I know how hard this can be as Dad had to do most of the talking in my doctor’s appointments about my mental health because I wasn’t strong enough to describe how I was feeling. That’s why I think it’s a fab idea to tell someone everything first and work out what you would like to say to the doctor (you don’t need to know the solution, you just need to tell the doc how you’ve been feeling and they’ll ask you questions and help you from there) and if you don’t feel strong enough on the day, ask your friend/loved one to help explain to the doctor for you what is going on. Just one thing to bear in mind, make sure your person is happy with explaining your situation to the doctor and make sure to correct them if they say something wrong- you’ll always get the best help if the doctors know as much as they can about the situation x
Q. What are your 5 favourite songs of all time?
A. I properly stressed out over this question because I honestly can’t pick just five as my taste changes quite regularly. So instead I’ve listed my 5 favourite songs at the moment and then a few more songs that are sentimental to me.
- Breathe- Lauv
- And I Love Her- Passenger
- King of My Heart- Taylor Swift (or just anything from Reputation tbh)
- 2002- Anne Marie
- Quarter Past Midnight – Bastille
- Hear you Me – Jimmy Eat World (reminds me of Mum)
- Brave Surrender – Kim Walker-Smith
- Love Song (Over Me) – Cimorelli (fab to sing in the shower)
- Photograph -Ed Sheeran (Long Distance Relationships ya’ll)
- Save Me- JNE
Q. If you could go on a date with anyone (ever) who would you choose?
A. I should probably say Will but truthfully if I could pick anyone that has ever existed it would be young Heath Ledger and I don’t even think I need to explain why. Rest in Peace you beautiful and amazing man.
Hope you lovelies enjoyed!
All my love,